Calming ilusions

Have u ever been wrong about a person? Has anyone ever disappointed u, when u were sure he wouldn’t? When u thought u knew exactly how this person thinks and feels? Of course. And it happens often. Why? Perhaps u never really knew him or just thought u did, but never really took the time to. Most of the time, in more or less non-complicated situations, u might think u know a person’s mind. Most of the time, u will be wrong. The complicated thoughts r the ones u have to understand. Considering there r quite a few things we haven’t talked about lately, I thought u’ve changed – I mean, u have, but not in the “far” away direction. Maybe I exaggerate, but maybe I’m right – and if it’s even half way so – all the years did not just go by… they left something, an understanding. U probably have no clue, what I mean (I’m not sure even I do). I guess what I’m trying to say is, the words “soul” and “mate” have a certain meaning. They don’t mean u always have to agree and get along, to me, they’re a connection… like f.ex. no matter what u hear, what people say, u know that this person would never do the things they say.

Have u ever felt a pain for someone else? Or, better said, a part of it? I don’t mean sympathizing with someone for bad luck or an unfortunate event… I mean, did u ever feel like it happened to u? With all the shivers and the sharpness of a knife, slowly cutting u apart? Some things even really good friends never realize. Maybe soul-mates do? Who knows.

And did u ever feel like u could and would never understand a certain person? Like u were from parts of the universe so far apart, so different? Did u want to give up? Did u? Far-fetched, maybe, but there is a chance u realize, u’r not so far apart. Or at least, that the mind is not that hard to understand (making a difference between understanding and knowing). Could it be, that after a while u can look into someones eyes and be able to make apart both “twins” – the good one and the evil one? While hoping that u can control them, I was surprised … I never thought I could take it like that, with no hard feelings, without annoyance. I wrote once, that it’s all in the eyes, in the look. Well, yours has changed – you have changed, even though I’m not sure u would ever admit it. The point, the million $ question being… why do u have to be like this sometimes? Why to the people who care about u, considering they might be part of the reason u’ve become once again more… how to say… human?

This is just a flow of thoughts, provoked unwillingly and affected by a slight lack of sleep… not meant to be understood, for it will most likely be interpreted in the wrong way. Any resemblance to real-life personalities is purely intentional and to my knowledge, no-one was hurt in the process. However, if u should understand it, understand me, know that we’re not so far apart.

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